Thursday, October 6, 2011
Do you remember the Verizon man who traveled all over making calls and asking, "Can you hear me now?" Sometimes I feel it is an accurate portrayal of my walk with the Lord. He allows situations to happen, all the while asking for my trust. Sometimes it is with jobs, other times relationships and most often with my children. Losing Callie coupled with Corban's early health scares have left a fear that resides deep within my heart. Actually not that deep--but it is rooted to the very core of my being. I do not want to lose another child. I can not lose another child. So whenever something happens that affects my kids, I seem to go on high alert. Last Friday I was going through Corban's backpack and found a letter that he had failed his hearing screen. I immediately freaked out. We just had his hearing tested a year ago and he was fine. I thought back to his NICU days--the warnings that hearing damage could occur. I was way down the road. Hearing aids for my 3 year old & speech delay & social anxiety. Would my little guy ever "fit in"? I made numerous calls and finally got an appointment with his pediatrician. She checked him out and then referred us to a specialist.
We went today and learned that his tubes are in the process of falling out and are causing fluid to build up again. Simple fix--put a second set of tubes in and remove his adenoids. No permanent hearing loss. I was so relieved.
I could picture the Lord saying, "Can you hear me now? Are you going to trust me now?" I know that even if Corban had hearing loss, we would still be blessed. He is still with us. It is a daily struggle, a daily battle and yet I find myself continually falling short. Losing trust.
We each have our own struggles and areas which we must turn over daily--and this is mine.
My prayer is that each day, I will continue to trust the Lord and His plan for my children's lives and mine. He has carried me this far. He got me through the worst times and He is with me in the best--and everything in between.
We celebrated this afternoon and made muffins together--Thank You Lord for blessing me with this little guy. You knew what you were doing!
What are you holding onto today? Place it in the Lord's hands and allow Him to speak into your soul.