Another year has passed and we cannot imagine what our life would be like with Callie turning 3. I'm sure she would have as much spunk and energy as her little brother and sister do! This year we faced a new challenge as Corban is becoming more aware of things. He doesn't fully understand but we wanted to begin to lay the foundation for him, to learn about his big sister. We took him to the store and let him pick out a balloon to send up to sissy and he carried it out to the cemetary. He looked all around in wonder at the stuffed animals, balloons and flowers all around babyland. Through his innocent eyes it looked like a child's playland when in reality, as an adult, it is a horribly sad sight. We parents who have lost our child know that each balloon and stuffed animal represents a shattered dream. A child we had in mind when we bought that stuffed animal will never know it's softness and comfort.
We walked to Callie's grave and brushed away the grass and debris and Corban wanted to help us and feel the stone. Then we told him that this is sissy's stone, and it is her birthday. We sang "Happy Birthday" to her and he let her balloon go. As he waved bye bye and blew her kisses, I know that this is the beginning of his understanding. I know he doesn't truly know what is going on yet but I hope that the foundation has been laid.
Happy Birthday to my sweet firstborn daughter. Another year has passed without you here and yet it feels like time has stood still in some regards. I look forward to the day that my family is complete and we are all together again.
