Sunday, July 5, 2009

Callie's Birthday

This past week was Callie's birthday. She would have been 2 on June 29. The whole week is usually a really tough week. I re-live the week and think on the 25th was probably the day she died. The 27th was the day we found out and I was induced. The 29th was the day she was delivered and July 3rd was the day we laid her to rest. It is just a really rough time. We went to the cemetery to her grave and there was a funeral just finishing up. Seeing the same small casket brought back so many memories. I hurt deeply for those people. We stayed in our van until the family left and then the workers lowered the casket in and put dirt on top of it. The family never sees that part. I never saw that part. We walked over to Callie's grave and the angels we put there were gone. Both my parents and I had each put some angels on her grave and they were gone. No sign of them anywhere. They don't remove things from the graves in Babyland so we are left to assume that someone stole them. I don't know what kind of sicko does is just rude. Corban enjoyed being out at the cemetery. He kept waving down at the grave. He will come to know his older sister as we share her story when he gets older. I know her daily celebrations in heaven are far better than any party I could have planned for her. I miss her deeply and love her so.


Anonymous said...

Oh honey, I completely understand how you feel. I lost my daughter at 40 weeks gestation due to a cord accident on November 1, 2007. I stumbled across your blog and just had to let you know you are not alone. I share your Faith in KNOWING we will be reunited with our babies one day. If you ever want to talk you can find me at Have a Blessed Day!

Anonymous said...

God has been teaching me his plans are better then mine. I didn't understand why I had to loss my son's. I have been blessed richly with more then I could have ever imagine. Even in knowing they will never know the pains of Earth. A song I recently learned at camp with 11 of our youth has really put it perspective. Go to Matt PaPa tv or u tube look up open hands. God wants to bless you greatly. You have to give him your plans, hopes, dreams, and hurts. God bless you I pray you find peace with this. If you ever need to talk my e-mail is You know my story as I have shared it with you many months ago. I pray God brings you peace like never before.

Mills Family said...

Anniversaries/birthdays are always so difficult! We celebrate 5 years since we held our beautiful Angel Son this year and while the days get easier, the anniversaries sometimes seem harder! And I can relate to the story of watching another tiny casket. My dear friend lost her son, who was the same "age" as our son almost a year after us, and part of their service was to lower him and his daddy and uncle replaced the dirt. I was sobbing, I wish I had been prepared that they were doing that because I looked like a fool, I think I was crying harder than my friend, just reliving it for the 100th time. Praying for you as you continue on this journey towards the Day of Christ's return and your reunion!